The Ups and Downs This Early 2015

4 months, and i feel like it’s been a year.

You know when you’ve been in a worst situation, where everything feels wrong and you feel like you can’t get out. But then you get out, and try so so so hard to move on and forget?

That’s me these past 4 months. Well, last month, exactly.

I’ve been through a lot since new year, some Ups and Downs. And i hate to remember the worst things that happened cause it still hurts to be honest, so i’m just gonna be all positive now and share some 'Ups' that i had ^^

2015 so far has been quite interesting.

i finally saw Harry, Liam, Niall and Louis with my own eyes, not thru a screen, alive, just few feets away from me on their On The Road Again Tour at GBK Jakarta. I never realized how ridiculously good looking Louis Tomlinson is until that moment when he stood on stage so close to me and i took a moment just sinked it all in and said, .. well i didn’t say a thing i was stoned.

I mean, i have a lot of HQ pictures of him, i know how hot he is but THAT moment, it’s like.. i don't even know what it’s like, Louis Tomlinson is not human, just to clarify.

we were 100% on point before the rain started

rain started, but selfie first

inside the stadium, looked mess already 4 hours before the show even started

wet wet wet

i was this close to an angel

what r u doing payno

my niam feels

'sup Harry

The Squad

Even though the concert was such a mess, the fact that Louis was real and was there, clear up every mess that happened that day.

oh! and i started working out early this year. i used to hate working out, well i never did, because i never could. so surprisingly i did good and could maintain my gym routine as much as i could during my daily activities. And i kinda like it, going to the gym. hell yeah gym! ha

and another ‘Ups’ i had probably my work. so now i’m working at a radio station, as a Graphic Designer and Videographer. to be honest i never thought that i’d work at a radio station and i had no idea what’s coming or what to expect. But so far i’m enjoying every bit of time that i’m spending there. i got to work many great people there. and i’m feeling so grateful for it.

it is important to think about things that makes you feel grateful when you’re feeling down, cause if you don’t, you’ll press the quit button right away and trust me, i was close to that button, many times. But then i wake up and keep reminding my self, i’m almost there.

oh by the way, I MET LOU TEASDALE! this has been on my list to get a selfie with her since i knew her. so let me tell you a little story about this one.

The One Direction lads and crews arrived at Jakarta since Monday, the concert was on Wednesday. I was freaking out. Seriously. Like.. how could i spend the days with the fact that they could be anywhere in my freaking city and i’m at work acting like it’s a normal day? and the thoughts of possibility that some fans could meet them anytime while i’m in my room or at my office, or while im sleeping??? trust me, i was like a ghost coming to work because my body was there, but my mind was idk where the hell it was.

BUT SURPRISINGLY, there’re none of pictures of them spotted with a fan til tuesday, which is weird????

It’s like they’re hiding, and they were. They stayed at the hotel the whole time, and next i found out that security here was crazy strict, unlike other countries they visited before.

And honestly, my goal was to meet Josh (The Drummer), Lou Teasdale (The Stylist - and the hottest coolest mom ever - Harry’s best friend - and happen to be the twin of Sam Teasdale, who’s the owner of Bleach London), and Gemma (Harry’s sister), but Gemma didn’t come so it came down to Josh and Lou. It’s not like i didn’t want to meet the lads, but it was nearly impossible knowing how strict the security rules here.

I was pissed at my self like why am i sitting in my office and not do a single thing to find them?

So me and my friends decided to stalk them on tuesday evening. We met at Plaza Indonesia, my friends were already there, it’s the 3 of them (ka Okky, Ara, and ka Festy).

While i was still on the way, they texted me that Josh was spotted at Grand Indonesia. I was freaking out in my taxi. Like holy shit. There’s a chance. We actually made plans, the 4 of us. We dressed up well, and the plan was 'to look less like ‘fans’ ', because face it. There were no pics of them with a fan because the security won’t allow fans got a picture with any of them, and we kinda act like not a fan. See what we did there?

So i got there, met my friends, and they said, ‘we just met Lou! LOU’S HERE!’ …

I was more freaking out. They said hi to her but the security stopped them. Then i said, i want to see her, i need to see her. Then some of them left so it’s just me, ka Okky, and Ara. I told them i really wanted to get a pic or at least say hi to her. so we wait.

We waited at Starbucks and few moments after… there she was, with her friend. Coming out of the mall and sit and waited for their ride. And it was just her and her friend, NO SECURITY. The lobby was empty, it was a perfect moment. We were freaking out. ka Okky told me, well, she URGED me, to go said hi. Just me. Because i was the only one who really wanted to get a pic and said hi to her. AND SO I WALKED OUT OF STARBUCKS, tried so hard to calm my self and act normal on my heels, then,

‘hi Lou!’ 

Then they both looked at me and she smiled, and i was going to chit chat a bit but they were in the middle of conversation so i was afraid he (the friend) might told me to leave, so i just straight to asked her for a picture, and she said ‘sure!’ and got up from her seat.

that's me when i came to Lou, and here's a pic from Ara who creeping us

♡♡♡

After that, i was going to talk to her but the guy friend said, ‘no more please’, which i understand, then i said thanks to her and i went back to Starbucks. I kept saying ‘holy shit, holy shit, holy shit’ i could see ka Okky and Ara were freaking out as i walked in but i was shaking so hard. I was literally shaking for about an hour i guess. I couldn’t believe that just happened. I knew they couldn’t interact so much to fans here because of the rules that the promoter made here, that is why i was so lucky that happened. Just few moments after their car arrived, there were some fans coming to the lobby. I-was-so-lucky :’D

THAT was definitely my best ‘Ups’. I hope there’ll be more Ups moments for the rest of this year.

Toodles!

To Another Great Year

Couldn’t relax
Couldn’t sit back
And let the sunlight
In my lap

I sang a hymn
To bring me peace
And then it came
A melody

It felt so sweet
It felt so strong
It made me feel like
I belonged

And all the sadness inside me
Melted away
Like I was free

I found what I’d been looking for in myself
Found a life worth living for someone else
Never thought that I could be Happy, Happy

Don’t go out
much at all
I’ve never been
the type to call

I realise to be happy
Maybe I need
a little company

So now you know
you know it all
That I’ve been
desperately alone

I haven’t found the one for me
But I believe in divinity

I found what I’d been looking for in myself
Found a life worth living for someone else
Never thought that I could be
Happy, Happy

I believe in possibility
I believe someone’s watching over me
And finally I have found a way to be
Happy, Happy

From the concrete to the coast
I was looking for a holy ghost
Like the land joining the sea
Happiness it followed me

I believe in possibility
I believe someone’s watching over me
And finally I have found a way to be
Happy, Happy

 -

Happy, Marina and the Diamonds

to another great year, Happy New Year !

Sudden Trip to West Side of Java

hi!last week i had 4 days off and i had this idea to go on a little vacation with my family. i had no idea where to go so i google from ‘Destination near Jakarta’ to ‘Destination in Java’. yes, i was desperately wanted to get the hell out of Jakarta, and ofcourse, to see my stress healer, beach.
so i got some lists and sort out places that we could possibly go, and also not too far from Jakarta cause we seriously had no plan.
So after sorting out my list, i picked Ujung Kulon. i had no idea what’s there so i googled it and it showed Ujung Kulon National Park and so we had a plan.

Thursday Morning i asked my uncle to go there and with just an hour of preparation we decided to go. with no expectation what we’re gonna see or even where we’re gonna stay.

So during our trip we’re discussing to visit Tanjung Lesung instead of Ujung Kulon. i was like, okay, as long as you take me to a beach i’m totally fine.
And so we arrived at Tanjung Lesung Beach Club. still had no idea where to stay the night.

 

While chilling on the beach, we talked to a tattoo maker there and ask about going to Ujung Kulon National Park (UKNP). and thank Lord he told us about this place named Sumur, and told us it’s easier to get to UKNP from there, plus! the beach is prettier there. and so we got another place to go.

while going so Sumur, i told my uncle that to go to UKNP we had to report and got a permission first. and we stopped at this Balai Taman Nasional Ujung Kulon at Sumur. it was already dark, around 6pm. and we met this lovely super kind guy that God has sent us, mas Entis, he explained us EVERYTHING. to be honest, i thought i was gonna see Rhinos walking around in the National Park but i had no idea it took forever to even see one. See?!! we were this blinded before we met him! he also told us there are few islands at Sumur and i was like, ‘… but i didn’t see any island on the google map?’  he told us that it took more than 2 hours on a boat to Ujung Kulon National Park and the boat costs kind of expensive for 6 people only, so we need more people to get there.
aaaanyway, he took us to a homestay, and we got another information about this island across this place we stay, it’s Umang Island, there’s a resort there and most people go there. After another discussion, and because of our lack of preparation, we decided to go this Umang Island the next morning.

see that little island on the back? that's Umang Island

The Next Morning, we walk outside and had a breakfast at this small stall. while talking to this lady who owns the stall, she told us that there’re also 2 islands beside Umang Island here. ……….. i didn’t expect to have this much surprise on this unplanned trip??
There’s Sumur Island (which can be reach by walking while the water receding) and there’s this Oar Island where there’s no life there.
and so i said, Let’s go this freaking Oar Island!

Turns out this island is a secret heaven. A secret heaven that i didn’t even expect to see, i didn’t even know it existed.

And so it was my super sudden trip. it was a perfect one to end this wonderful year.

Sometimes you just gotta pack and go. Based on my experience, most planned trips don’t work in the end.

toodles!

Flashback Attack

Have you ever been listening to your iPod, and suddenly it plays the song that brings back the highschool memories?

I am, right now. Right this second i’m writing this at work.

Suddenly my iPod played One Step At A Time by Jordin Sparks and i don’t even know why this reminds me of my first year of highschool. And suddenly feeling blue because God, it feels like so many years ago.
and i miss it.
Not even the romance. The school, the building, How i always be the first one who got to class. How my friend always played High School Musical songs on our school radio during break. How much i love the School Canteen’s steak. How i always finished it before i got to class because once i got it to class, you know it’d be disappeared just in a blink. How clever i was at cheating during exams (cmon, we’ve all been there). How i always waited for my friend to called me out from class to our dance practice. How we always gave a massive surprise to our friend’s birthday. How we always watched scary movies in class after Sports. How i always broke the rules at Flag Ceremony which is ‘Stay in Your Class Row’. And i always, always stayed at my best friend’s class row, unless we’re on break, smh. hahahahhaa. How me and my bestfriends always pulled out paper with our notes from my class’ window and their class to talk, because our classes are in a different building but face each other, and exactly their door faced my seat, which is fun.

and now my iPod plays Apologize by Timbaland ft. One Republic, which is also my high school memories trigger <///////3
oh my God :( i hate and love nostalgia so much

This is why i love having something like an iPod for such a long time. It’s not a thing that keeps only songs, it’s like your memory box. and i love it

 toodles 

The Berry Makeover

hi!

September’s almost over, and you know what that means,

just 3 months away ’til 2014 ends

and i still think 2011 was last year. Seriously.

Yesterday, i looked my self in the mirror and thinking, ‘sigh, boring.’

so i went to the Salon! ^^

and yes, all the “SHOULD I CUT MY BANGS JUST LIKE RACHEL BERRY???” thing finally came true.

as y’all know, or not, i’m obsessed with Rachel Berry, the character Lea Michele played at Glee, and also Lea herself. i thought i was just like her just like other characters or celebrities that i adore, soon i realized i want to be like her. kinda creepy huh :/

but i see something in her, both Lea and Rachel, that speaks a lot about me as a person that not most people know. she IS my truly big inspiration.

and this is actually the first time ever that i had this ‘front bangs’ , still feel kinda weird.

so yeah, i cut my bangs.

toodles!